What would happen if a small-time college football coach from Kansas was hired to hop across the pond and coach a struggling professional soccer team in England, despite having absolutely no experience with the sport? You’d get Ted Lasso, Apple TV+’s award-winning comedy-drama series, in which Jason Sudeikis’ protagonist makes up for his lack of English football knowledge with his endless optimism, underdog determination, a fantastic mustache, and homemade biscuits that would leave The Great British Bake Off shaking in its boots.
While Ted Lasso may appear to be a sports show at first glance, it’s far more than that. At its core, this well-written, critically acclaimed series is overflowing with heart, which is one of the core pillars of its success. At the center of this genre-subverting emotional sincerity is Coach Ted Lasso, a man that’s always guaranteed to have a positive, wise, or otherwise hilarious quip in his back pocket in order to lighten the mood.
While we wait for news on season 3, we’ve gathered some of the best Ted-isms — fantastic quotes from Ted Lasso himself — from season 1!
- “Well, that’s the funny thing about coincidences, ain’t it? Sometimes they just happen.” (Ep. 3)
- “So you gonna give me the cold shoulder and the silent treatment. That’s a combo. Does it come with a medium drink?” (Ep. 9)
- “You know who you remind me of right now? One of them robot vacuums. Just kinda wandering around looking for dirt.” (Ep. 3)
- “Look at you in there, looking like a brunette Oscar the Grouch.” (Ep. 9)
- “You know how they say that ‘youth is wasted on the young’? Well, I say don’t let the wisdom of age be wasted on you.” (Ep. 4)
- “So fellas, we all know speed is important. But being able to stop and change directions quickly? Well, that’s like Kanye’s 808s & Heartbreak. It don’t get nearly enough credit.” (Ep. 9)
- “Coach’s views on romantic relationships are not too dissimilar from his views on cooking steak. You know, you spend any more than five minutes on one, loses its flavor.” (Ep. 5)
- “I feel like we fell out of a lucky tree, hit every branch on the way down, ended up in a pool full of cash and Sour Patch Kids.” (Ep. 6)
- “I think that you might be so sure that you’re one in a million, that sometimes you forget that out there, you’re just one of 11.” (Ep. 2)
- “Taking on a challenge is a lot like riding a horse, isn’t it? If you’re comfortable while you’re doing it, you’re probably doing it wrong.” (Ep. 1)
- “Know thyself. Rest in peace, Socrates.” (Ep. 9)
- “We got one final game this season against Man city, and our goal is to go out like Willie Nelson, on a high.” (Ep. 9)
And finally, we’d be remiss not to mention Ted’s entire ongoing, cheeky Milk sisters bit with Rebecca throughout episode 8, “The Diamond Dogs.”
Seasons 1 and 2 of Ted Lasso are now available exclusively on Apple TV+. While the show is slated for a third season, a targeted premiere date has not yet been confirmed. In the meantime, catch up on all of our Ted Lasso coverage, including news, recaps, and more.
And if you have friends and family that have yet to hop on the Ted Lasso train, let us help you convince them.