Wednesday, October 27, 2021

‘Seven on 7’: Breaking Down the First Episode of ‘The Boys’ Digital Series

The creators of The Boys have just announced the launch of Vought News Network’s Seven on 7, a digital series set in the world of The Boys that will bridge the gap between the events of seasons 2 and 3 (for more information, see here). As such, we’ve decided to launch a series of our own breaking down the Vought propaganda each episode of Seven on 7!

Each episode of the series will contain seven news stories and one commercial. Without further ado, let’s take a look at this month’s episode of VNN’s Seven on 7. Before we begin, check out the episode below.

Segment 1 – Storm Damage Hits Home

In this first news segment, we see news anchor Cameron Coleman talk about Homelander’s absence since the whole public debacle with Stormfront went down. Playing up the broken heart angle and painting the Supe as the personally distraught victim in the scenario, it seems like the company is still blowing smoke up the public’s butts to try and save face. As for Homelander himself, VNN reports he’s keeping out of the limelight… for now. Of course, VNN stands with Homelander as he goes through this tough time. Smells like a pile of crap if you ask me, but then again, what else should one expect from Vought?

Segment 2 – Not Super, Soldiers

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In the second segment, we learn that in the wake of the events at the end of season 2, the government has abruptly halted talks on the proposals that Vought was trying so valiantly to get pushed through concerning letting Supes serve in the military. Of course, Vought’s not happy with this, still pushing to open the discourse going once again. Always an agenda there.

Secretary of Defense, Robert Singer, gave a vague statement concerning the ordeal.

“America’s safety is our main priority – period. While I can’t comment beyond that, I will say that the Joint Chiefs are working tirelessly to determine the best, and most effective, course to ensure our country remains the greatest nation on Earth.”

Coleman, ever the good little Vought puppet, is enraged, spouting “So, what he’s saying is that the government would rather give in to unfounded propaganda than commit to protecting American citizens against the threat of Superterrorists invading our great country… unbelievable.” The only thing that’s unbelievable about this is Coleman’s commitment to the theatrics.

Segment 3 – Is “Dawn of the” Dead?

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Dawn of the Seven, Vought’s newest (and most expensive. Seriously, that figure was through the roof) franchise film that The Seven were seen shooting back in season 2 seems to be in limbo, with executives refusing to confirm or deny the film’s current status. I’m sure that has nothing to do with the Neo-Nazi that was set to star in it smearing its image and The Seven kind of falling apart… right?

Segment 4 – Out of Sight, Not Out of Mind

It seems that Vought has come up with a professionally tailored, PR friendly explanation for the disappearance of Blindspot, the blind Supe who Homelander straight up annihilated back in the season 2 premiere when Ashley suggested him as a candidate for the newest member of The Seven. I guess “missing in action” sounds a lot better than “brutally slaughtered on a whim by a man who’s supposed to protect our country.” Of course, VNN sends their thoughts and prayers for Blindspot… wherever he is.

Commercial – OurSheet

Amazon Prime Video

In this nifty little commercial, the product being peddled is… sheets? The domestic-made product’s inventor, Mickey Londale, talks all about how his vision to bring American comfort into patriots’ homes was realized, all while offering some thinly-veiled commentary concerning Vought’s agenda with the problem (self-created problem, may I add) overseas, with lines like “We need to stop letting our country getting invaded by rough and uncomfortable foreign-made bedsheets” and “Make Sleep Great Again”. Don’t forget the sheet’s newest shade of white — milk. I bet Homelander would love that one, eh? Oh Vought, popping out propaganda ’till they die.

Segment 5 – Campbell’s Supe Announcement

Goodbye Petit Hughie, hello G-man. It seems like Hughie got that job he wanted after all, as VNN reports that Victoria Neuman has appointed him as the new Senior Analyst for the Federal Bureau of Superhuman Affairs (FBSA) — and you know what? Good for him. Of course, Vought and its affiliates aren’t too pleased with this, as proven by Coleman’s comments dragging Campbell through the mud. “Just more proof that the government will hire just about anybody,” Coleman comments. Oh, if only the general public knew. While we’re happy for Hughie, we can’t help but think this assignment will have some… explosive consequences, if you know what I mean.

Segment 6 – Missing the Mark

It seems that Eagle the Archer has come clean about the Church of the Collective in his new tell-all book. Additionally, it seems that the organization’s head (oof, bad choice of words?), Alistair Adana, is nowhere to be found, uncharacteristically silent on the matter. Of course, we know why the normally charismatic, press-friendly man has been notably absent, as one Ms. Victoria Neuman made his head go kablooey in the season 2 finale.

Segment 7 – Pop Star-Lighting Up the Charts

Starlight’s single “Never Truly Vanish,” a tribute to the late Translucent, continues to top the charts for the fifth week in a row, slowly but surely encroaching on the band Super Sweet’s nine-week record. It seems that Starlight has reclaimed her spot as both Vought and America’s sweetheart after the public pardon from Homelander. Of course, how genuine can a tribute to someone your sort of kind of significant other blew up be, especially when said tribute is dedicated to someone you didn’t really care for? Regardless, it seems that Starlight will continue to shine star-bright when we next see her in season 3.

We can’t wait to see what lies breaking news the next episode of Seven on 7 will bring. As always, stay tuned for more updates and make sure to check out all of our coverage related to The Boys (including recaps) here.

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Kenedi
Kenedi Lynch is a college student pursuing her BS in Biology. She hopes to attend medical school at Stanford or Johns Hopkins to obtain her MD-PhD and become an orthopedic surgeon. When she isn't hard at work, Kenedi enjoys reading, watching her favorite shows on Netflix, and listening to music. Some of her favorite fandoms are Supernatural, Harry Potter, Bones, Criminal Minds, and Percy Jackson.

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