For those that have been living under a rock (no offense, Patrick Star), Richard Speight, Jr. released his debut album last year — The Dance and How to Do It. The album was an absolute hit, jam packed with a variety of covers and some incredible original songs performed by Dick Jr. & the Volunteers. But one question has lingered amid the excitement … what exactly is The Dance and how in the world do you Do It?
For those looking for some clarity, we are gathered here on this fine day to answer this burning question. After conducting a thesis-worthy amount of research, we have come to the conclusion that Speight has been showing us what The Dance is all along … you just need to pay attention.
Sometimes … it looks a little like this.
And other times … it’s a bit more like this.
The Dance has no rules (clearly).
The Dance is lawless.
We even observed Rob Benedict attempting to learn the secrets of The Dance from Speight …
Which was seemingly a successful venture.
YMCA who? I don’t know her (Remember? No. Rules.)
And power squats. Do NOT forget the power squats.
A gratuitous amount of power squats.
Power squats until you can no longer squat.
In summary, The Dance — in short — is the spirit of Speight himself.
And Speight wants YOU to do The Dance, too.
Like, he really … really wants you to.
And if you forget The Dance … he’s always watching, ready to remind you.
Okay, so you’ve learned the secrets of The Dance … what now? Go listen to The Dance and How to Do It! And to be a true Dance initiate, make sure to order your very own beautiful, glowing, radioactive orange Dick Jr. & the Volunteers t-shirt.
(Also, Happy April Fools, friends.)