‘Riverdale’: The Best One-Liners From Season 5B

Megan
5 Min Read
The CW

With Riverdale officially coming to an end after the upcoming seventh season on Wednesday, March 29, it’s time to look back at some of the best moments from the show. In the midst of the craziness, the show has been known to have some pretty great and iconic lines, so we are taking a look back at those in our one-liners series, continuing with the second half of season 5!

“Chapter Eighty-Seven: Strange Bedfellows”

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  • Penelope: “God is on our side, child.”
  • Hiram: “Well, if it isn’t my old friend.”
  • Reggie: “This is not high school, Ronnie.”
  • Reggie: “The bad guys pay better.”
  • Cheryl: “You’re shameless, Mumsy.”

“Chapter Eighty-Eight: Citizen Lodge”

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  • Jughead: “And every hero has an origin story.”
  • Reggie: “That’s your dream, Dad.”
  • Reggie: “I don’t have a father anymore.”
  • Young Hiram: “Being your son is embarassing.”
  • Hiram: “I will finish what my father began.”

“Chapter Eighty-Nine: Reservoir Dogs”

Madelaine Petsch in Riverdale.
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  • Betty: “God, I should have stabbed you harder when I had the chance.”
  • Kevin: “My spiraling days are over.”

“Chapter Ninety: The Night Gallery”

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  • Cheryl: “It’s a maple miracle.”
  • Betty: “You’re not in the United States anymore; you’re in Riverdale.”
  • Jughead: “I was swallowed up by the dark.”
  • Jughead: “I was very eager to join the Rat King’s domain.”

Honorable Mention:

Cheryl: “Archie, you’ve been a soldier, a fireman, a football coach, a teacher, and a bounty hunter. Is a miner so far outside your purview?”

“Chapter Ninety-One: The Pussycats”

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  • Josie: “In the flesh, in the faux fur.”
  • Josie: “Nice to know you’re still a little bitch.”
  • Josie: “Are you saying my father was murdered?”
  • Toni: “The most adorable baby jeans from Old Navy you have ever seen.”
  • Xandra: “Girl, relax, it’s just a milkshake.”
  • Archie: “I feel like I’m in sophomore year again.”
  • Archie: “Josie & the Pussycats reunited.”
  • Val: “Better a new baby than a dead body.”

“Chapter Ninety-Two: Band of Brothers”

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  • Veronica: “At which point I will divorce your ass so fast, your head will spin.”
  • Veronica: “You’ll never be an alpha, Chad.”
  • Cheryl: “Why does my demon of a mother always have to rain on my parade?”
  • Cheryl: “I’m always happy to let you name-drop my family in order to screw over your father.”
  • Cheryl: “What if I, Cheryl Marjorie Blossom, am the holiest of holies?”
  • Archie: “It’s a war worth fighting.”
  • Reggie: “You’re partying with that smug nitwit?”
  • Betty: “I am more comfortable studying serial killers than I am socializing with normal people.”

“Chapter Ninety-Three: Dance of Death”

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  • Veronica: “Take this ring and rot in Hell!”
  • Veronica: “Check and mate, you little bitch.”
  • Veronica: “Sociopaths are incapable of love.”
  • Veronica: “Our dance of death is finally coming to an end.”
  • Veronica: “Your guardian angel deserves a raise
  • Penelope: “Poor dim, impressionable Kevin.”
  • Jughead: “And then they swallowed their tongue because they thought you were gonna dismember them?”
  • Cheryl: “I’m fasting for enlightenment.”
  • Hiram: “As a wise man once said, never send a boy to do a man’s job.”
  • Kevin: “I’m still not following.”

“Chapter Ninety-Four: Next to Normal”

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  • Jughead: “Tabitha, Riverdale and the rest of the world are in a perpetual state of crisis.”
  • Veronica: “No apologies, super stud.”
  • Veronica: “Oh my God, redacted.”
  • Alice: “She’s dead because of you.”

“Chapter Ninety-Five: RIVERDALE: RIP (?)”

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  • Jughead: “I say, get me that rewrite.”
  • Betty: “God knows there’s enough crime here to last me several lifetimes.”
  • Betty: “Riverdale lives to fight another day.
  • Toni: “Oh, you’re gonna get what you deserve.”
  • Veronica: “This is an exile.”
  • Veronica: “Tick tock, Daddy.”
  • Cheryl: “How ironic yet fitting.”
  • Reggie: “You’re preaching to the choir.”
  • Archie: “Riverdale is officially back on the map.”

Keep a lookout for our next article in the Riverdale one-liners series! In the meantime, watch all six seasons of Riverdale now on Netflix. Check out our other coverage on the series here. Season 7 premieres on Wednesday, March 29 at 9 p.m. EST on The CW.

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By Megan
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Megan has been passionate about writing since she was little and has been passionate about all things pop culture and nerdy since almost as long. Joining Nerds and Beyond in 2019, she also graduated from the University of Wisconsin Oshkosh in 2020 with a Bachelor of Arts in Multimedia Journalism. Megan is constantly binge-watching shows and finding new things to obsess over. 9-1-1 and Marvel currently reign as the top obsessions. You can find her on Twitter @marvels911s if you ever want to discuss some certain firefighters.
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