‘Riverdale’: The Best One-Liners From Season 5A

Megan
5 Min Read
The CW

With Riverdale officially coming to an end after the upcoming seventh season on Wednesday, March 29, it’s time to look back at some of the best moments from the show. In the midst of the craziness, the show has been known to have some pretty great and iconic lines, so we are taking a look back at those in our one-liners series, continuing with the first half of season 5!

“Chapter Seventy-Seven: Climax”

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  • Archie: “And tomorrow, your ass is grass.”
  • Chery: “I do want to expose that defiler.”
  • Kevin: “You had me at snuff film.”
  • Mary: “Smile and say, ‘Endgame.'”
  • Jughead: “How does every one of our dances turn into a Jamie Lee Curtis movie?”

“Chapter Seventy-Eight: The Preppy Murders”

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  • Cheryl: “Fix this or perish.”
  • Veronica: “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to take out the trash, and you’re lucky it doesn’t include you.”
  • Charles: “True love knows no boundaries.”
  • Betty: “Like, of course my brother is a serial killer.”

Honorable Mention:

Betty: “Two sons, one real and one fake. Both psychos.”

“Chapter Seventy-Nine: Graduation”

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  • Jughead: “Are we just doomed to be haunted by this town for the rest of our lives?”
  • Jughead: “Dead teens walking.”
  • Jughead: “Sounds like another vow is coming.”
  • Jughead: “Maybe a little normal high school angst is good for us.”
  • Penelope: “Nightmare child, what do you mean?”
  • Veronica: “This is just straight up lunacy, Archie, and I won’t indulge it.”

“Chapter Eighty: Purgatorio”

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  • Betty: “I caught serial killers in high school, Dr. Starling.”
  • Veronica: “I want to be the she-wolf of Wall Street.”
  • Kevin: “RIP, Choni.”

“Chapter Eighty-One: The Homecoming”

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  • Veronica: “Oh, you mean Stepford for bougie mobsters?”
  • Veronica: “I’m taking the path of least resistance and I’d rather not leave a paper trail.”
  • Kevin: “I love that it feels like we’re in an episode of Succession right now.”
  • Hiram: “The township of Riverdale is hereby dissolved.”
  • Jughead: “With the rap of a gavel, Riverdale was no more.”

“Chapter Eighty-Two: Back to School”

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  • Jughead: “On behalf of Lennie, George, and myself, goodnight, my sweet prince.”
  • Jughead: “Well, if you promise to never bring up the epic highs and lows of high school football again, I can ask Tabitha if she’s willing to sponsor the team for Pop’s.”
  • Jughead: “Embrace the weird.”
  • Kevin: “Obviously, I will be defying gravity.”
  • Cheryl: “Now be gone from my sight.”
  • Chad: “Awesome sauce.”

“Chapter Eighty-Three: Fire in the Sky”

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  • Hiram: “Riverdale can’t be saved.”
  • Cheryl: “You know, I usually have a rule about annihilating high school students, but you seem particularly insufferable.”
  • Cheryl: “I’ve seen a porcelain doll possessed by my deceased brother move faster than you lots.”
  • Tabitha: “A special delivery courtesy of Nana Rose Blossom straight from the Twilight Zone.”

“Chapter Eighty-Four: Lock & Key”

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  • Toni: “Just one big, happy, non-traditional family.”
  • Cheryl: “And they call me Cherry Bombshell.”
  • Cheryl: “Get this American pickle the hell out of my sight.”
  • Kevin: “Shut the front door.”
  • Jughead: “No, I think a night at Cheryl’s house with some wanton debauchery is precisely what I need to forget about this alien crap.”
  • Veronica: “I’m not gonna be some passive heroine to be fought over by two Tarzans.”
  • Betty: “Well, I’m still traumatized from Spin the Bottle sophomore year.”

“Chapter Eighty-Five: Destroyer”

Bettina Strauss/The CW
  • Tabitha: “I like supporting underdogs.”
  • Cheryl: “I’m sorry, but I cannot donate my precious maple resource to help fund that collection of tatterdemalions you call a football team, Archie.”

“Chapter Eighty-Six: The Pincushion Man”

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  • Cheryl: “There is no curse!”
  • Cheryl: “Nice try, you simpletons.”
  • Jughead: “Pop’s very first psychedelic cheeseburger.”
  • Jughead: “Oh, don’t be such a Betty.”
  • Chic: “Did you miss me?”

Keep a lookout for our next article in the Riverdale one-liners series! In the meantime, watch all six seasons of Riverdale now on Netflix. Check out our other coverage on the series here. Season 7 premieres on Wednesday, March 29 at 9 p.m. EST on The CW.

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By Megan
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Megan has been passionate about writing since she was little and has been passionate about all things pop culture and nerdy since almost as long. Joining Nerds and Beyond in 2019, she also graduated from the University of Wisconsin Oshkosh in 2020 with a Bachelor of Arts in Multimedia Journalism. Megan is constantly binge-watching shows and finding new things to obsess over. 9-1-1 and Marvel currently reign as the top obsessions. You can find her on Twitter @marvels911s if you ever want to discuss some certain firefighters.
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