What We Do in the Shadows made its two episode season 4 premiere last week, and the Staten Island crew’s shenanigans are back for episode 3 this week. In “The Grand Opening,” Nadja and Nandor are both hoping on making big reveals, but opening night of Nadja’s vampire night club is threatened when the musical guest cancels, Nandor and Guillermo navigate the tricky Djinn, and more! If you’re worried you missed a detail or two, check out our recap of the episode below!
Opening night of Nadja’s highly anticipated vampiric night club is finally here, and there are already vampires waiting outside to be let in to party and enjoy the musical guest — Richie Suck, who is apparently the best vampire rapper ever. Nadja, of course, looks incredible and is giving me serious fashion envy once again in this all-red attire, two hats and all. The club’s official name is also unveiled — Nadja’s. Inside the club the Guide (now “cured” of her mental illnesses thanks to Laszlo’s stunning psychiatric work last episode) and her wraiths are putting the finishing touches on the club (including filling the blood sprinklers).
Also inside the club is a rather glum-looking Nandor who has left his bride-to-be Marwa at home … which isn’t shocking at all considering most of us knew this particular plot point was going to go poorly. With the help of the Djinn, Nandor has modified Marwa to perfection, and is now worried he isn’t perfect for her. However, at the suggestion from Nadja that Nandor could use wishes to improve himself, his spirits seem to rise a bit.
Richie Suck cancels his appearance at Nadja’s, so the Guide and Nadja immediately set out to his place of residence to tell him he has to honor his obligation and perform. They are greeted by guest star Fred Armisen who is soon revealed to be Tom, Richie’s outspoken and forward familiar. As we all know, Nadja isn’t particularly fond of or respectful to familiars, which continues to be the case here. Familiar Tom is also Doctor Tom, which Nadja is completely unimpressed with, sticking her middle finger in his face with a firm “diagnose this” (and I once again wish I had an ounce of her personality).
The creature that crawled out of Colin Robinson’s chest cavity is growing incredibly fast. This week he’s around seven-years-old with a YouTube channel in which he knolls. While Guillermo is certainly the primary caretaker for this child now, Laszlo still feels like the boy’s father, therefore causing some friction between the human and vampire once more. Laszlo has attempted to raise “Colin” to be interesting and into “cultured” activities, while Guillermo is letting him just be a child and do enjoy what he really enjoys — including musical theatre, and as it turns out … Laszlo really hates musical theatre. The bickering ceases when “Colin” wants attention — both of the men fawning over the child. The era of DILFs is among us.
Laszlo tries to restore more interesting behaviors in “Colin” once more by taking him on an art museum heist, which is perfect father/son bonding if you ask me. “Colin” doesn’t want to be doing this, however, and just wants to talk about knolling (something he actually cares about) with Laszlo (“Lazzo” to “Colin”). Despite the fact Laszlo just very gracefully demonstrated how to avoid the alarms, “Colin” walks straight into one, setting off the alarm and cutting their crime short.
Laszlo isn’t prepared to give up his efforts yet, and recognizing that “Colin” doesn’t seem too keen on crime and is far too young for whoring, but don’t fear — Laszlo has a solution for this, as well. The much older vampire locks the child in a dumpster and informs him he may come out when he’s killed six rats. Checking in on the boy, Laszlo is greeted to an unbothered (excited, even) “Colin” being cuddled by the rats. Luckily, the young boy doesn’t hold this against Laszlo and the pair soon depart, sharing an endearing moment as Laszlo reveals some of his upbringing and, in his own way, vows not to make the same mistakes. Young “Colin” holds his hand as the pair head home, the boy quoting Stephen Sondheim.
Wanting of the Wang (for the second week in a row)
Obviously Nandor the relentless, a very vain and shallow immortal, isn’t going to work on himself in meaningful ways like becoming a better listener — he wishes to have the world’s largest penis. Guillermo, ever the voice of reason, urges Nandor to be weary of the Djinn (who are known to be tricky) and be precise with his wishes. The two have a conversation about what Nandor needs to wish for exactly — including size and location specifications of his planned new penis. Going over the specifications, the Djinn states to the camera crew away from Nandor and Guillermo that this is normal when people wish for a large penis, but he’s never had to deal with two people so detail oriented. The Djinn also remarks that the pair are doing the right thing by approaching the wish this way, but that it is annoying.
Guillermo throws in a last minute stipulation: the Djinn cannot make Nandor have the largest penis by making every other penis in the world small, to which the Djinn seems agitated that he has been bested. Thanking Guillermo for his concise mind and help, Nandor uses another wish without really realizing it — to think of Guillermo every time he has sex — which the Djinn happily grants. Nandor does not realize this until he tries to have sex with Marwa, only to think of Guillermo.
Be Yourself, Free Yourself
Nadja attempts to coax Richie back into performing at the club with the promise of free virgin blood, tossing him a sample bag to really drive the deal home. Tom intercepts the bag and scolds his master, telling him it is not time for him to feed yet, but maintains his gentle disposition by giving him a gentle kiss on the head. This leads Nadja to the conclusion that Richie is being manipulated by his familiar, much like musicians are manipulated by their managers (same thing, really). Tom attempts to re-negotiate pay for Richie performing (double what was originally agreed upon) and says he will only be doing new material, with Tom at his side (because he’s Doctor Tom the DJ). The Guide and Nadja decide to kill the familiar because … he is the worst.
Nadja is determined to make Richie Suck remember how cool he was before Doctor Tom manipulated him, and she (of course) has an interesting approach, calling him a pussy-bitch and telling him to be himself.
Colin Robinson’s New Groove
Richie takes Nadja’s advice to the extreme and decides to allow the vampires in the club to kill Doctor Tom. However, being true to himself isn’t exactly what Nadja wants either, because being himself, as it turns out, is doing observational comedy. Opening night is once again almost ruined as the crowd grows irritated with the new act from Richie, but the night is ultimately saved by none other than “Colin” performing a musical theatre number onstage — vampires have always loved child novelty acts.
Laszlo is actually proud of his son — remarking he was wrong about the boy, and that “Colin” has “the groove.”
Our coverage for season 4 of What We Do in the Shadows, including recaps for each episode, can be found here. Episodes air weekly on Tuesdays on FX and are available to stream on Hulu.