Elliott is dead (still not over it), the siblings have all met with their father who refuses to help them (and adamantly denies he’s involved in Kennedy’s assassination), and Five has struck a deal with The Handler. A lot is going on here in the 60s … can the Hargreeves save the world? Or will The Handler bail them out after Five successfully assassinates the Temps Commission’s Board of Directors?
Five is in … 1982 now, in Wisconsin, looking for where the Midwest Soybean Society meeting is. The vending machine doesn’t give him his candy bar, so this is clearly not a good start to the trip for him. So, as anyone would do, he grabs an axe off the wall, just in case. Oh, so the Midwest Soybean Society is the Temps Commission. There’s AJ in all his fishy-finned glory, and he knows who Five is. Slash, hack, teleport, smash … Okay, well that was brutal, but it looks like Five has, very easily, fulfilled his promise to The Handler. The Board has been effectively massacred.
Klaus is not about to let Ben back into his body, but in order to do keep Ben out, he can’t fall asleep. And that’s harder than he’d like to admit. Klaus is upset at not being able to save Dave and change his ill fated future, and Ben tells him that’s how he feels everyday, as he watches Klaus make the same mistakes over and over — this is powerlessness.
Carl’s not that great at subtlety. His eyes are shooting daggers at Vanya and Sissy as they finish their meal, and when Vanya and Sissy begin to map out their day, Carl says Vanya has to drive him, keeping them from having time alone together.
The Handler holds up her end of the deal … with a brand new little clause. Five has 90 minutes to collect his siblings and use her “Get Out of the Apocalypse Free” briefcase, or no dice. She claims she can’t give him more time, people will get suspicious, so tick tock, tick tock …
“He was a good guy, he deserved better than this.” Yes he was, and yes he did, Diego. Are we still a little mad about Elliott? Maybe we are. Now, if you’re anything like us, you assume “öga for öga” means, “an eye for an eye” in Swedish. If you’re anything like Luther and Diego, you think it’s a name and you find Olga Foroga in the phone book and give her a call to begin your very ill-planned pursuit of revenge. Five also arrives and stops his idiot brothers from threatening poor Olga Foroga and tells them that “öga for öga” indeed means an eye for an eye.
Well, the Temps Commission is a bit of a mess. The Handler, re-sporting her classic blonde hair, tells the Commission about the “shocking” assassination of the 12 Board members and takes over control of the operations.
Diego isn’t really onboard with Five’s plan to save them all, if that’s not the most Diego thing to ever Diego. He wants to say goodbye to Lila, and Five breaks it to him that she’s a Commission operative and was only there to get access to him, not because she liked Diego. Diego was just a means to an end, a pawn.
Possession is the cards. Ben finally has a physical body again. It may be Klaus’, but it’s a start. It’s a whole new world. He shares a moment with Jill, making dirt angels, and this is what Ben deserves. We thank Klaus for his sacrifice.
“Who I am is not a disease.” You tell him Vanya. Carl, who compared Vanya’s sexual orientation to a cattle disease, might want to put a hoof in his mouth before he’s on the receiving end of some unpleasant sound waves himself. Carl plays the one card he knows will work — Harlan. He’s considering sending Harlan to a special facility, an institution, but perhaps he wouldn’t if Vanya were to leave and never return. He wants her gone by the time he gets home from a drink with his brother.
Allison is stuck between a rock and hard place. Luther comes to get her. They have 42 minutes to make it back to Five, and back to their time. Her daughter, Claire, is in 2019, Ray is here in the 60s. The world they’re returning to is uncertain, and she could potentially lose everything. Luther tells her they aren’t normal, they don’t get the luxury of normal lives. They have to risk everything, to save everything.
Oh, AJ is not dead? But now he’ll be calling a bowl on The Handler’s desk a home. Lila isn’t stoked about this new arrangement, until mom makes her Head of Security.
Diego, who’s gone to fetch Klaus for Five, does not know he’s talking to Ben and not Klaus, and Ben is just beside himself being able to chat with his brother again. After a little “ask me something only Ben would know,”Diego is thrilled to “see” his brother again. Somehow these two going their separate ways for the next 30 minutes to take care of some things seems like a bad idea, but we’ll just have to keep the faith … but it looks like Ben’s possession may be running out of time.
Five and Vanya pass each other on the road, and Vanya is insistent that she bring Harlan and Sissy to 2019. Five tells her no, they don’t belong in 2019, and despite Vanya’s claims that a mom and her 8-year-old son are insignificant to the big picture, Five disagrees, “everyone is significant.” Well, the two most powerful of the seven are seemingly about to have a shoot-off at high noon, and while Vanya would likely win that one, Five doesn’t back down. For the moment Vanya seems like she’s going to concede and head back with Five alone, she just needs to say goodbye first. He tells her to be in the alley, don’t be late.
Okay, Elliott dying was sad enough, but Diego digging a hole all by himself to bury him out in the middle of nowhere is a lot to take in. Lila shows up, and the pair share some words and it would seem that Lila does harbor some real feelings for Diego. Oh wait, she’s drugging him … Damn it, Lila!
Allison is giving Ray the bad news, she has to go and she wants him to come with her. But he can’t leave the movement, it’s too important and the work in the 60s still needs to be done. The doorbell rings — ding dong need a vacuum? Or maybe a swift punch to the throat from a Swedish assassin? (The Swedes are there, by the way.)
Things are seemingly going a bit better for Vanya, who gets Sissy on board for heading to the future with her (guess we’ll tell Five about the two extra passengers later). She tells Sissy that Carl knows about them, and he’s going to send Harlan off to an institution. Sissy grabs her stash of cash from under the sink, looking around her house for the final time.
Ray and Allison are no match for the Swedes, and Allison’s powers are rendered useless from the blow to her throat. Allison does manage to take one’s eye out though. Klaus and Ben are very much still in a power struggle for Klaus’ body and Luther and Five are (shockingly) the first ones to arrive to the alley. Klaus/Ben arrives next, where Klaus quite literally Exorcist vomits and then out shoots Ben. Gross. Eight minutes left and Vanya, Allison, and Diego are still missing (and otherwise preoccupied, we know).
Well, Allison is back in action, and The Swedes are down to one as she rumors one to kill the other, who runs after completing the deed. Vanya and Sissy hit a roadblock on their escape route. And Lila’s got Diego in her mother’s office, who she introduces to mommy dearest as “her boyfriend” as he comes to from being drugged … by her. He’s a little shocked.
So, that’s that. Time’s up. Five has to toss the briefcase as its timer goes off so Luther, Klaus, and himself don’t get transported back to 2019 without their other three siblings who didn’t (literally couldn’t) make the deadline. Oh, and Doomsday is still very much on schedule.
Texas Highway Patrol stops Vanya and Sissy, the officer in charge of the stop? Carl’s brother, Jerry. He commands Vanya to get out of the car, and she’s not going easy. She uses her powers (for the first time in front of Sissy) and takes out the the officers in one fell blast. Except one, who knocks her out with a blow to the head by the butt of his shotgun as she looks back to gauge Sissy’s response to seeing her abilities.
Things are heating up! And Doomsday is looming. The siblings are still stuck in the 60s, with a few of them in quite the pickle. How does Diego feel about his new relationship? What’s going to happen to Vanya? And Sissy after Carl finds out she tried to run off? All 10 episodes of The Umbrella Academy season 2 are currently streaming on Netflix.