Blink twice if you’ve ever had romantic thoughts about your refrigerator. I mean — what?
Your new favorite cozy couch game is here, bringing you the comfort of your own home … in your own home. Enter Date Everything!, a brand-new sandbox dating simulator. With over 100 dateable characters, this game turns the very idea of a dating simulator on its head with a concept so outrageous, it works: what would happen if every item in your home was actually a sentient, humanoid object? (Look, you’re just going to have to trust me here.)
Date Everything! is fairly easy to hop right into. Once you fire it up on your preferred platform, you’ll give the game a bit of information that will allow it to appropriately bring you into the story — name, pronouns, and whatever city you’d like to be living in (fictional or otherwise). Then you’ll soon be set free to run amok (within the house, that is) with a pair of magical glasses, aptly called Dateviators, which will forever change your perception of your vacuum cleaner and that box of decorations sitting in your closet.
From that point, it’s your love story to indulge in! Players can either follow in-game hints to discover new Dateables, or you can blaze your own path, jogging upstairs and downstairs each in-game day to woo the fuse box and the laundry basket, maybe visiting that odd, glitchy dresser in between … And hey, if you’re not feeling the love for certain characters, you also have the option to steer the dialogue options in a different direction to earn yourself a Friendship or Hate label instead.
One of this game’s biggest strengths is its script (which contains over 70,000 voice lines). Hats off to the brilliant minds that worked behind the scenes to not only create so many unique characters, but then also wrote punchy, entertaining dialogue for each and every one of them to boot. The witty quips and well-timed humor alone make this game worth playing. Because even if you stumble across a character that may not tickle your fancy, you’ll still want to keep on building out your relationship with them for the amusing conversations they offer. The character designs are also diverse, offering a little bit of something for everyone while finding creative ways to represent each object in the form of hair, clothing, and accessories.
What really brings these characters to life alongside their killer scripts is the incredibly talented roster of voice actors behind them — Matthew Mercer, Felicia Day, Troy Baker, Bryce Papenbrook, Aleks Le, Adam McArthur, Neil Newbon, Jonah Scott … the list goes on. And on. And on. The game itself comes from Sassy Chap Games, better known as Robbie Daymond, Ray Chase, and Max Mittelman (a triple threat of humor in and of itself who lend their voices as well).
Date Everything! has a smart way of keeping players engaged, too. You earn something called SPECS points each time that you earn a Love, Friendship, or Hate label with a Dateable. Those points then open up more dialogue options, as well as allowing players to meet the requirements for the individual endgame with each character. In short, this means that even if a player has already romanced all of their preferred Dateables, you’re still going to want to hustle around the house building relationships with everyone else, too.
Overall, Date Everything! is equal parts hilarious and endearing, offering audiences a fun break from complex and demanding gameplay with pure relaxing entertainment.
