Like a Fine Wine: A Comprehensive Wine Pairing Guide for the Vision Varieties in ‘WandaVision’
WandaVision may be over, but that doesn’t mean we still can’t enjoy one of the greatest gifts it gave us — an assorted pack of Visions for every mood and occasion. While you’re getting ready for your rewatch, we thought it would be a good idea to come up with a comprehensive list of wines one can enjoy with their favorite Vision presentation. Enjoy.
Author disclaimer: I am not a wine connoisseur, forgive me.
Vision Disassembled
Pros:
- Good for travel
- Perfect for sneaking into places Vision isn’t allowed
- Changes colors
Cons
- Messy
- Hard to assemble
- Kind of sad
Pairing: Grapes
Professor Vision is Speaking Now
Pros:
- Probably willing to give extra credit
- Gentle as a butterfly
- Probably smells like rich mahogany
Cons:
- Jacket may be scratchy
- Probably has an early bedtime
Pairing: Port
A White Vision, No!
Pros:
- Capable of reason after a macho man episode
- Has the Hollywood explosion walk down to a science
- Deep voice
Cons:
- Boring
- Fight first talk later mentality
- Too monochrome
Pairing: The cheapest boxed supermarket wine
On This Farm There Was a Vision …
Pros:
- Ready for a hard day’s work
- Even more ready for quenching thirst
Cons:
- A little too earthy
Pairing: Homemade Beet Wine from Schrute Farms
An Absolute Vision-ary
Pros:
- Perfect to serenade someone with “Yakety Yak”
- Great at dinner parties
- Can save someone from choking
- A definite “can’t go wrong” option; perfection
Cons:
- Isn’t available all times of day due to other engagements
- Too pure to create diversions
Pairing: Champagne
A Vision a Day Keeps the Doctor Away
Pros:
- Perfect for everyday wear
- Great to enjoy at home or at a restaurant
- Versatile
Cons
- Stickler for rules
Pairing: Pinot Noir
Vision – Big Red Robot
Pros:
- Smells like Big Red gum
- Funny guy
- The cardigan is downright irresistible and definitely cozy
Cons:
- Gets a little gummed up easily
Pairing: Pinot Grigio
The Loss of a Vision Teardrop
Pros:
- Epitome of comfort
- Makes you feel like home
- Knows just what to say
Cons
- Can’t stay
- May or not be a product of chaos
Pairing: None, don’t drink because you’re sad
A Vision of Halloween Suburban Dad
Pros:
- Cute as a button with a hint of “don’t cross me”
- Strong dad vibes
- High pec accentuation and hidden Mind Stone undertones
Cons
- Not bright enough to grab the attention of zombified town residents
- Less than ideal for flight due to loose shorts
Pairing: Dry Riesling
Is He Glamor? Is He Illusion? Either Way, He’s a Vision
Pros:
- One word: Magical
- Very fast
- Good at magic tricks; almost too good
- Hilarious
Cons:
- Definitely under the influence of something
- Inhibited by human norms
Pairing: Cabernet Sauvignon
A Soft and Sensitive Vision of a Man
Pros:
- Would 100% buy you chocolate to make you feel better
- Would watch a chick flick with you
- Gives great advice
Cons:
- Hard to decide if it’s better with the sweater on or off
- A little nervous
Pairing: Merlot
80s Daddy Vision
Marvel/Disney+ Marvel/Disney+
Pros:
- Perfect for fashionably digging graves
- Looks great while levitating
- Optional jacket easily masks snatched waist when needed
Cons:
- Too spicy for your wife to be willing to have a serious conversation with while wearing
- Might make you sweat
Pairing: (Extra) Spicy Mulled Wine
The entirety of WandaVision is now available on Disney+.
