‘The Umbrella Academy’ Recap: Season 3, Episode 5 “Kindest Cut”


In the fifth episode of the third season of The Umbrella Academy, “Kindest Cut,” further depths of Klaus’ abilities are revealed, Harlan explains the tragedy he caused, Five and Lila return from their trip to the Commission, and the Umbrellas and the Sparrows each try to figure out what they’re going to do next with the Kugelblitz looming over them.

Actual-death experiences

Following his accidental death at the hands of Diego’s son, Stan, Klaus wakes up in the Void. He walks to a beach and enters a mausoleum. A younger version of himself is sitting slumped against the wall, and Reginald kneels down beside him, carrying on with his tests. Klaus finds himself back in a memory from his teenage years, in which he fell off of a roof, and then he sees Stan shoot him again. He realizes that these weren’t near-death experiences — he actually died. After he steps out of the mausoleum, Klaus finds his mother sitting at a table on the beach. She remarks that he’s died 56 times now, and she assures him that he doesn’t need to continue mourning her.

Harlan’s mistake

Following the devastating news that Harlan is the one that killed the Umbrella Academy’s mothers, Viktor chases after Harlan and demands to know the truth. It was an accident. On the day that Sissy died, Harlan felt Viktor again, so he reached out … but it wasn’t Viktor. He had connected to the mothers, who were currently terrified because they could feel something growing inside of their bodies. Harlan tried to break the connection, but he couldn’t. After that day, he hid himself away … until now, when he felt Viktor’s powers again.

Reconvening and resurrection

Viktor, Luther, Diego, and Allison meet in the lobby (the latter two looking a bit rough around the edges after their wild night of bar fighting), and Five and Lila come tumbling back after their trip to the Commission. Allison realizes that they have the briefcase, but it doesn’t appear to have survived the trip back. Lila hugs Diego, realizing that there’s no time for her to hold grudges any longer. Diego spots Stan sneaking by the lobby with his arms full of supplies, and he follows him back to the White Buffalo Suite, where his son shows him Klaus’ dead body on the carpet; he was going to use the chemicals to dissolve it.

Putting their heads together for a brilliant solution, Diego and Stan roll Klaus’ body up in the carpet and lug him down the hallway and into the elevator. The concierge barely bats an eye. Shortly after the elevator begins to move, Klaus comes gasping back to life, and Diego and Stan promptly lose their minds.

The Sparrows plot their next move

In the wake of the deaths of Jayme and Alphonso at Hotel Obsidian, Fei and Ben argue over what their next move will be. Fei wants to work together with the Umbrellas to solve their growing problem in the basement — because people all over the world are disappearing now — but Ben is more concerned with punishing Harlan first. Together, they join Grace in the basement and stand before the Kugelblitz, and they use her eye in an attempt to inspect it closer.

The Kugelblitz grows

The Umbrellas sit at the hotel bar and discuss the Kugelblitz, which Five describes as the end of everything. Their best plan would be to go back in time and eliminate the paradox, but it’s not possible considering the briefcase is kaput. Five doesn’t want to risk using his powers to fix things, because we all know what happened last time he tried that. Another wave from the Kugelblitz comes crashing through, taking more innocent lives, and Five calculates that they have 4 to 5 days left until — you guessed it — the end of the world. They debate what to do about the Sparrows and Harlan, and Klaus finally takes it upon himself to mention the “big, bad, glow-y thing” in the basement of the Academy. So at least they know where the Kugelblitz is.

Viktor heads upstairs to talk to Harlan, and Diego and Lila send Stan off as they finally start to rekindle their relationship (not realizing that an odd, glowing door has opened up in the White Buffalo Suite). Meanwhile, Luther and Allison have a chat. They embrace, and Allison is under the assumption that Luther still wants her, but that’s not the case at all. Angry that he’s leaving to go after Sloane, she uses her powers and compels him to kiss her. Later, Allison catches Viktor sneaking Harlan out of the hotel. He wants to try to take back his powers so he can save him, and Allison agrees to help.

The Mothers of Agony


Klaus and Five are still sitting in the lobby, and when Five shows him the tattoo that he cut off of his older self, Klaus tells him that it’s a symbol for a biker gang: the Mothers of Agony. Five immediately heads to the bar where the gang is located, and in the back room he finds none other than Pogo.

The Umbrella Academy season 3 is now streaming on Netflix. Follow along with all of our coverage on the show, including episodic recaps and more.

Lindsey joined the Nerds and Beyond team in 2018. If she's not writing or out and about with her camera, she's probably watching anime, nerding out over Star Wars, reading manga, and definitely forgetting to water her plants. And waiting for the Genshin loading screen to pop up. Contact: lindsey@nerdsandbeyond.com

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