Sunday, July 25, 2021

A Very Necessary Ranking of Thor Odinson’s Luxurious Hair

Thor Odinson played by Chris Hemsworth is endearing for many reasons: his dedication to his friends and family, his desire to help others, and his humor are just a few places to start. I could probably sit here and write all day about the many things that make me love Thor, but today I’m only going to focus on one thing: his hair.

Across the movies Thor has appeared in, I found 10 different hairstyles and because it feels absolutely necessary, I am going to rank them below. Let’s get started!

First Place – The haircut reveal in Thor: Ragnarok

Marvel Studios

It was a shock to the world when Stan Lee cut Thor’s magnificent long locks in Thor: Ragnarok. The Thor audiences are used to is one with long, flowing hair so seeing a more modern style on him was certainly something to get used to. I’m not sure about you, but I have definitely gotten used to this hair and it’s earned it’s way to the top spot on the list! This look just screams “warrior,” and it would definitely be more combat-friendly to not have hair whipping around your face during a fight.

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Overall rating: *screams internally* 1,500/10

Second Place – The Viking hair during the final battle of Avengers: Endgame

Marvel Studios

I know I said short hair is more practical for battle in the last option, but as someone who loves a long hair and beard combo, I cannot resist giving Viking Thor’s hair the recognition it deserves. The half tied-back look adorned with small braids and the braided beard combination screams of a hairstyle the Thor of Norse mythology would wear. I will definitely miss this hair if it is not present in Thor: Love & Thunder.

Overall rating: Could ruin my life, or take me on a trip around Europe. I’ll leave it up to him. 12/10

Third Place – The incredibly soft Avengers: Age of Ultron hair

Marvel Studios

Not only do I mean that this hair actually looks soft to the touch, but this hair will always make me emotional and therefore earns the third spot on the list. The braid behind Thor’s left ear in Avengers: Age of Ultron contains black hair from the God of Mischief, Loki (Tom Hiddleston), who Thor believes is dead following Thor: The Dark World. The fact that Thor loves his brother so much he wanted a piece of Loki with him always is one of the softest, most emotional things I have ever seen and I have to stop typing about it before I cry.

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Overall rating: :’) 10/10

Fourth Place – The immaculate beach waves at the beginning of Thor: Ragnarok

Marvel Studios

This is the only half tied-back and bearded look I will accept without braids included. Thor: Ragnarok definitely raised the bar in terms of my expectations for Thor’s aesthetic overall, and I would like to know what product he is using to get such a fantastic texture here.

Overall rating: Spa and hair day for me and Thor, when? 9.5/10

Fifth Place – I am a Thor’s ponytail stan and nothing more

Marvel Studios

It honestly pains me to put this look so far down on the list, but I guess top 5 is better than bottom any day! Avengers: Age of Ultron should be thanked everyday for the service they provided us, that service being giving Thor Odinson a casual ponytail. This isn’t the only time we see this look, Thor also sports a similar hairstyle in Thor: Ragnarok while going to Earth to find his father. However, this is the first and therefore the one I have to focus on. All other ponytails pale in comparison to the Avengers: Age of Ultron ponytail.

Overall rating: I would take ponytail Thor home to meet my mother. 9/10

Sixth Place – The slightly grown-out hair at the beginning of Avengers: Endgame

Marvel Studios

Thor: Ragnarok pioneered the short-haired Thor look, which took the number one spot on this list. The hair, of course, stuck around until after the snap and into part of Avengers: Endgame. The beginning of Endgame gives us number six on the list: the slightly grown-out short hair from Thor: Ragnarok. Taking place only about a month after the end of Ragnarok, Thor has obviously began the process of growing out his hair and beard to their former glory. The result can only be improved when Thor puts on his armor to kill Thanos.

Overall rating: I want to go to the gym with this Thor, and I don’t like going to the gym. 7/10

Seventh Place – The beginning of the waves in The Avengers

Marvel Studios

Again, I would like to know what product Thor was using for his waves here because this texture is phenomenal. It’s what I wish my hair looked like everyday of my life. However, having never been a fan of shoulder-length hair, I have to say that this look left me wanting a little more. Minus the waves, it’s just very … meh. Tying this back somewhat would have added much more depth and appeal to this look, and that’s why it takes seventh.

Overall rating: Doth mother know you weareth her drapes? 5/10

Eighth Place – The lack-luster half-tied-back waves in Thor: The Dark World

Marvel Studios

Let me start by saying that by no means is this a BAD look. However, in regards to the four total half-tied-back looks that we got for Thor, this one from Thor: The Dark World is definitely the most plain (no Loki hair intertwined) and leaves much to be desired. A few more braids and this may have ranked higher.

Overall rating: Kind of looks like someone I would avoid at a music festival. 4/10

Ninth Place – The original baby Thor hair

Marvel Studios

I can’t be too hard on this hair even though it takes ninth place on this list. Thor as a character was new to big screens when Thor released in 2011 and therefore Marvel was still figuring out how to represent this character cinematically. For me, it comes down to lack of texture and being shoulder length. Some nice waves would have improved this, but much like with his hair in Thor: The Dark World, I was left wanting more.

Overall rating: I would have dated this Thor in high school and my first year of college. 2/10

Tenth Place – Thor’s hair during most of Avengers: Endgame

Marvel Studios

While I have a deeply profound appreciation for a good long-hair and beard combo as I have mentioned before, this hair has to be put in last place for hygiene reasons. Who knows the last time Thor washed his hair and beard or used beard oil! It is definitely not healthy, the beard is more than likely incredibly rough, and you can probably find food crumbs in it. I would not recommend getting too close to this hair.

Overall rating: No. Not recommended. -1,500/10

So, there you have it! My very necessary ranking of Thor’s hairstyles that absolutely no one asked for. Fingers crossed that Thor: Love & Thunder provides us with more great hairstyles when it releases May 6, 2022!

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Hannah
Hannah has been telling her mom it's not just a phase since discovering Marvel, Sailor Moon and Star Wars as a young child. Since then the amount of fandoms that consume her attention has only grown, and her passion for sharing those interests with others. She lives in Colorado and is mom to four cats and one horse. Her “core four” fandoms are Marvel, Star Wars, Game of Thrones and Harry Potter, with a special place in her heart for anything spooky. Find her on twitter @amazingspidrhan

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