Are y’all ready for this week’s recap of Brooklyn Nine-Nine? *Long sip of Boyle’s strong coffee* Yup yup yup yup yupyupyupyupYUPYUPYUP!
This week, Peralta attempts to find Holt a replacement for Gina without much luck. Holt is extremely exacting and picky, firing a man on the spot for saying “yeah” instead of “yes.” Peralta, having been the one to get Gina the job as Holt’s assistant in the first place, is determined to be the one to find Holt his perfect replacement. He thinks he has done the trick with Gordon Lunt (Deadpool’s Karan Soni) who’s dry and buttoned up temperament matches Holt’s perfectly. However, Holt is convinced that Lunt is flirting with him, among the reasons the “single Windsor knot” in his tie (“It’s the easiest to undo, he might as well be naked.” – Holt). Peralta thinks that Holt is making another excuse to not hire a new assistant and convinces him to keep Lundt on.
Meanwhile, to help ease the pressure of the overcrowded bullpen, Santiago is trying to get the squad to “Marie Kondo” their desks and work spaces. Unfortunately, her strategy backfires as Boyle, Terry, and even Scully find that all of their belongings “spark joy.” Including Scully’s disastrous decision to keep a fidget spinner over his seizure medication (“I forgot it lights up, oh I’ve made a huge mistake.” – Scully). Terry wants to keep his fancy backup suspenders (“leather yoke!”) and Boyle insists on holding on to his late grandfather’s shoes.
While Holt tries to resist Lunt’s “flirting,” Peralta makes a shocking discovery. Lunt lied on his resume about his time at the fire department, and in fact, used to be Commissioner John Kelly’s assistant at his old precinct. He tells Holt that he is right, that Lunt must be a spy sent by Kelly to get the list of Captains that Holt has amassed that oppose Kelly. He’s a “honeypot.” They decide to engage “Operation D.R.A.G.O.N. – Don’t Reveal Anything, Gordon’s Our Nemesis” and try to use his existence against Kelly. They think if they can get Lunt’s laptop they will find proof that Kelly is spying on his captains and use it as leverage. In order to get a hold of the laptop, they enact an elaborate plan – Holt takes Lunt on a “date” to the barrel museum. Where Lunt has to check his laptop bag. Once checked, Peralta bribes the bag check girl to get the laptop and clones the hard drive, (while listening to Holt drone on about the history of barrel making.)
Back at the precinct, Santiago has decide the team needs harsher measures to get the space workable. She decides to teach them an extreme Swedish technique where they have to get rid of all of their personal belongings except for one. And not only that, the final step is to set those belongings on fire. The fire is supposed to be “freeing” but also to prevent them from donating their items to Goodwill and then just buying them back later. They begrudgingly drag their garbage bags of cherished belongings out back and Rosa shoots a flaming arrow (because of course she has a bow and arrows in her work locker) into the piles, setting them ablaze.
In Holt’s office, Peralta is bummed because he could not find anything incriminating on Lunt’s laptop. Fortunately (and startlingly) Lunt enters at that moment confessing to everything. He confesses to being a honeypot plant put there by Kelly to get the list of Captains, but also that he is turning himself into them because he has fallen in love with Holt. He agrees to double cross Kelly (“Double Dragon!”) by wearing a wire the next time they meet so that they can record Kelly admitting to spying on his captains.
Meanwhile, Santiago is pushing Terry for photos of his now clean desk so that she can send them to the magazine “Organizers Weekly.” She forces him to open his drawers (“otherwise it doesn’t count!” – Santiago) and discovers that he has kept his fancy backup suspenders instead of letting them burn. The squad is upset (“I burned Grandpa Boyle’s bitty booty!” – Boyle) until Terry admits that the reason he bought the suspenders was so that he could wear them once he passed his Lieutenant’s exam. Unfortunately, he has failed the test twice now, and is losing hope that he will ever make Lieutenant. Dejected, he throws his backup suspenders into the trash.
Holt and Peralta follow Lunt to his meeting with Kelly, wearing disguises in case they are spotted. However, Lunt immediately confesses to Kelly that he has been sent to record him and opens his shirt to reveal the wire. Peralta and Holt storm in to confront both of them. When Kelly threatens to expose Holt unless he hands in his resignation, Holt reveals that after spending the night on the couch (he told Kevin about his plan for Lunt and Kevin was upset when he saw how attractive Lunt was) he read the synopsis of several “Thomas Cruise films” and realized that the only way to best Kelly was to triple cross him. The “Triple Dragon – Two Righteous Individuals Performing Law Enforcement Directives Rapidly Against Gordon Our Nemesis.” He planted mics in the condiments and had cameras set up recording their entire confrontation, which included Kelly admitting to the spying. Holt then gives Kelly his list of demands, including ending the new “stop and frisk” policy and re-opening the the first floor of the precinct.
Back in the Nine-nine, Terry comes in to discover his desk is covered in textbooks to help him pass the Lieutenant’s exam. Santiago got him the books and also a new pair of suspenders (the originals were covered in “squad goo.”) and is determined to help him pass. The second floor is no longer overcrowded and it seems that Holt has won the battle against Kelly, for now at least.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine airs Thursdays at 9pm on NBC.