Looking Back on the Best Lines from the Sassiest ‘Supernatural’ Archangel, Gabriel

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In its 15 season tenure, there have been many beloved aspects of the television series Supernatural. One of those particular aspects is in the form of a sassy, smart, and equally dangerous archangel with a penchant for faking his own death, moonlighting as a Trickster, and a sweet tooth for candy and mischief. In case you haven’t caught on, we’re referring to Gabriel, who is fantastically portrayed on the show by the talented Richard Speight, Jr.

When Gabriel isn’t off causing a ruckus, saving his own tail, or canoodling with the ladies, he’s more often than not dishing out wisecracks, slick burns, and snappy comebacks. Below you’ll find some of our favorite Gabriel remarks that he’s made throughout his years fraternizing with the Winchesters.

1. “What’s the difference? Satan’s gonna ride his ass one way or another.”

– Season 5, Episode 8 “Changing Channels”

Courtesy of The CW.

I mean … he had a point?

2. “Whoever said Dean was the dysfunctional one has never seen you with a sharp object in your hands. Holy Full Metal Jacket.”

– Season 3, Episode 11 “Mystery Spot”

Courtesy of The CW.

Stressed out? On edge? No problem, Gabriel is here to continue stoking the fire.

3. “What you guys call the apocalypse, I used to call Sunday dinner”

– Season 5, Episode 8 “Changing Channels”

Courtesy of The CW.

Sounds like somebody wouldn’t pass the mashed potatoes. Family problems, eh?

4. “Hey, what’s up, shorties? Remember me? The guy who died for your sins? No, not the cat with the beard and sandals. The hot one.”

– Season 9, Episode 18 “Meta Fiction”

Courtesy of The CW.

Gabriel has such a way with words, honestly.

5. “Dean’s dead. He ain’t coming back. His soul’s downstairs doing the hellfire rumba as we speak.”

– Season 3, Episode 11 “Mystery Spot”

Courtesy of The CW.

And let it be known, his snacks may be sugarcoated but his words certainly aren’t.

6. “Bitch please. You’ve been God more often than Dad has.”

– Season 9, Episode 18 “Meta Fiction”

Courtesy of The CW.

Even Cas isn’t safe from Gabriel’s sharp tongue.

7. “That is the jet fuel of divine emissions.”

– Season 13, Episode 21 “Beat the Devil”

Courtesy of The CW.

If nothing else, Gabriel exudes utmost confidence in himself and his contributions to the cause.

8. “Porn stars. They were porn stars, Sam.”

– Season 13, Episode 18 “Bring ’em Back Alive”

Courtesy of The CW.

Well Sam … hopefully you didn’t expect any different of a response to a pep talk with Gabriel.

9. “Lucifer, you’re my brother. And I love you. But you are a great big bag of dicks.”

– Season 5, Episode 19 “Hammer of the Gods”

Courtesy of The CW.

…. somebody had to say it.

Runners-up

  • “No one makes us do anything.” – Season 5, Episode 19 “Hammer of the Gods”
  • “They call me Gabriel.” – Season 5, Episode 8 “Changing Channels”
  • “I’ve got the kielbasa you ordered.” – Season 5, Episode 19 “Hammer of the Gods”

And there you have it, the best from the sassy mouth of our favorite archangel, Gabriel himself.

Don’t forget, the partial half of season 15 that aired up through episode 13, “Destiny’s Child,” will be available to stream on Netflix on June 5! Stay tuned for the final 7 episodes that will end with the Supernatural series finale this fall.

Lindsey
Lindsey
Lindsey joined the Nerds and Beyond team in 2018. If she's not writing or out and about with her camera, she's probably watching anime, nerding out over Star Wars, reading manga, and definitely forgetting to water her plants. And waiting for the Genshin loading screen to pop up. Contact: lindsey@nerdsandbeyond.com

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