Diego Hargreeves a.k.a. Number Two, portrayed by the talented David Castañeda — some would call him bitter, many would call him dangerous, but all can certainly agree on one thing: the man has fashion sense.
Now, if you’ve not yet been enlightened by the sheer greatness that is season 2 of The Umbrella Academy, perhaps you would be inclined to disagree with the above statement. It’s a fair rebuttal, sure, because his wardrobe doesn’t quite extend much past the stabby goth sibling of the family in the first season. However, we now have the second season — and the 60s — to thank for the fabulous expansion to Diego’s wardrobe (and his hair!) He still stabs … but with style.
Join me now as we take a tour of the unofficial Diego Hargreeves style guide.
The Everyday Vigilante
The Everyday Vigilante is the signature Diego Hargreeves look. Outfitted with a holster to store knives galore and all-black from head to toe to maximize stealth, it’s dark, broody, and never goes out of style.
Notable qualities:
- Acceptable funeral attire
- Low effort
- May scare small children
- Wouldn’t recommend for those with animals that shed
The Vigilante, Classic Variant
The Classic variant of the Everyday Vigilante look is an ode to Diego’s childhood superhero get up, as well as his comic counterpart. He dons the mask when he’s out and about tossing his knives at bad guys … and … perhaps other ‘times’ as well (though we might have to get Klaus to summon Patch to expand upon her statement on that).
Notable qualities:
- Anonymity on a budget
- May leave undesirable tan lines, wouldn’t recommend for beach trips
The Vigilante, Sling Variant
Listen, vigilantes get hurt, too, okay? Add in a nice jacket with the sling and boom, you suddenly look presentable enough for a sketchy alleyway meet up for some very important documents.
Notable qualities:
- Knife throwing abilities are temporarily hindered
- Secret spot to store extra knives, nobody will expect it
The Subtly Striped Vigilante a.k.a. Diego with a Dash of Pizzazz
Those familiar with The Umbrella Academy comic series will know that Diego’s comic outfit consists of a black and grey striped shirt. Though the blue stripes on this live-action outfit are far more subtle, it still serves as a nod to the pages the character was born from.
Notable qualities:
- Adds a bit of spice to the stabby goth look
- Acceptable for bowling night with the family
- Clearly screams “I’m a dad”
404 Error: Cannot Stab
This outfit is what happens when your name is Diego Hargreeves, resident vigilante, and your first thought upon being thrown decades into the past is to dive headfirst into an obsessive mission to save JFK. Because the great citizens of 1963 will in no way find that concerning. Nope. Not at all.
Notable qualities:
- Look ma, no hands
- He probably should have learned how to throw knives with his feet, too
Diego Gets Committed a.k.a. The Stabby Goth Grew Out of His Emo Phase
Sans straitjacket, this was Diego’s psychiatric facility attire, which is quite literally the polar opposite of the discount Batman streetwear aesthetic. Did he hate it? Probably. But did he rock it? Absolutely.
Notable qualities:
- Far less intimidating than The Everyday Vigilante
- Stains easily
The Back Alley Clothesline Special
Diego’s options may have been limited as he scrambled to pilfer an outfit from a clothesline after his escape from the psychiatric institution, but he still made damn sure to revert back to his classic all-black attire … sort of.
Notable qualities:
- He might be a vigilante, but he’s no animal … check out that tucked in shirt
- This man arrives at your front door — is he selling Bibles or is he here to kill you? Exactly
Real Vigilantes Wear Whitie Tighties
Exactly what it says on the tin.
Notable qualities:
- I’m just going to come out and say it, literally no idea where he keeps the knives on this outfit
The Dapper Vigilante, aka Fancy but Stabby
Diego Hargreeves cleans up well, and I said what I said. This is the ideal outfit for going undercover at the Mexican Consulate, though seemingly perhaps not quite dapper enough to sway your sort-of girlfriend to save you instead of your brother from the clutches of the IKEA mafia.
Notable qualities:
- Extra pockets for extra secret stabby
Diego Hargreeves, Plain Text, Sans Serif
Everyone needs a good old basic everyday outfit in their closet — you know, one that doesn’t look like you’re two steps away from fleeing off into the night at the whim of the Bat-Signal.
Notable qualities:
- Limited to but one oversized knife in an undersized back pocket (see photo), stab sparingly
Dinner Party Diego a.k.a. ‘Taken 4: Olga Foroga, Dead By Nightfall’
This is arguably Diego’s most versatile outfit. Button up and tuck it in, and he’s ready for a disastrous family dinner with his siblings and their god awful father. Button back down and let it hang loose, and suddenly he’s Liam Neeson, ready to throw hands with someone’s grandma.
Notable qualities:
- Bold yet not too flashy
The Umbrella Academy Presents: Number Two
For anyone that found themselves worried that we would go through the entirety of the show without seeing the Hargreeves in their charming Umbrella Academy uniforms as adults — have no fear, because season 2 delivered. It’s kind of a crime that we didn’t get a peek at the shorts and socks combo, though.
Notable qualities:
- Nostalgic
- Almost fancy enough to distract from the fact that he’s eating a brain
The G.O.A.T.
This is the start of the official petition for Diego Hargreeves to be gifted a closet full of bomber jackets upon his return home, because it’s quite frankly the greatest look we’ve seen yet and can also easily be outfitted with the stabby vigilante holster (see later!)
Notable qualities:
- This screams “I can stab you, but I can also look fantastic while doing so”
Sun’s Out, Guns Out a.k.a Knives (not) Out
Knives temporarily not in use, Diego brought out out his guns to do some digging. Sadly, this look still wasn’t enough to convince his sort-of-girlfriend not to drug him and drag him to the Commission headquarters. Tough luck, Number Two.
Notable qualities:
- May hinder ability to realize that your sort-of-girlfriend is about to kidnap you against your will
Bomber Jacket, Vigilante Variant
As noted, the glorious bomber jacket strikes back (as also seen in the opening apocalypse sequence), decked out with the long-awaited return of Diego’s tricks of the trade — his signature vigilante holster.
Notable qualities:
- Batman, but aim higher
So there you have it, an exploration of the many looks of Diego Hargreeves, stabby knife guy extraordinaire and up-and-coming fashion guru. The Hargreeves may have brought back a lifetime worth of baggage with them from the 60s, but was it worth it for the sake of broadening the horizons of Diego’s fashion sense? I don’t know about you, but I’ll answer that with a resounding yes.
Season 2 of The Umbrella Academy is now available to stream on Netflix.
