It’s the most wonderful time of the Brooklyn Nine-Nine year! No, I’m not talking about the annual “Halloween Heist.” I’m talking about the annual return of Craig Robinson as Doug Judy — Peralta’s nemesis/best friend.
But “A Tale of Two Bandits” provides a necessary twist on the expected Doug Judy antics. This time, Terry comes to Peralta, because cars are being stolen across the city using Doug Judy’s signature techniques, which is shocking (somehow) to Peralta, because Doug Judy has promised to stop stealing and walk the straight and narrow. Terry calls Doug Judy’s mother (Peralta’s mode of communication with Doug Judy), keeping up the backstory of Judy as an architect for “Black NASA” and Peralta as Judy’s assistant “Mangy Carl” that Doug Judy rescued from a life on the streets. Unfortunately, they are informed that Doug Judy is dead.
They attend Doug Judy’s funeral, where they meet his grieving sister Trudy Judy (played by Nailed It’s Nicole Byer). Trudy waxes on about the tragic and clandestine backstory of “Mangy Carl” (and his failed mulch butt implants) and convinces Peralta to sing during the service. Peralta belts out an improvised (and awful) tune, but while at the altar, he spots Doug Judy listening in the back of the church. Peralta and Terry confront Doug Judy, who confesses that he faked his death because Stefano, a notorious mobster, has placed a hit on him for stealing his classic Ferrari, which Doug Judy claims he did not do. Peralta believes that Doug Judy has changed, but Terry does not. So they make a bet: whoever is wrong about Doug Judy has to do one hundred thousand pushups.
Meanwhile, the rest of the Nine-Nine heads to their favorite cop bar, Shaw’s, where they discover that a squadron of firemen (led by Rob Riggle) has taken over the bar and is trying to claim it as theirs. They agree to a drink off — whoever has the highest tab by closing time wins and gets to keep the bar. The rules are: 1. You have to finish the whole drink before you can order another, and 2. if you puke, you’re disqualified. Holt refuses to participate and leaves, claiming the squad’s attachment to Shaw’s is silly, because the bar is a dive, and their only wine is something called “Charbonnay.”
Terry and Peralta follow Doug Judy to a Bar Mitzvah before taking him in for questioning, when they get the call that someone has been picked up for stealing another car using Doug Judy’s moves. They head to the precinct, and Peralta and Doug Judy find out that it was Trudy Judy who was busted stealing the car. She claims that she only resorted to stealing cars to pay off her nursing school student loans, and she picked up Doug Judy’s moves from reading his journals. She claims to have already dropped off Stefano’s Ferrari at her fence, a man named Dallas (“Never trust a man named after a place,” Peralta says), but Peralta arranges a meet up where Terry (wearing a wire) will accompany her.
At the meet up, Trudy Judy begins flirting with Terry in front of Dallas and stroking his chest. This angers Doug Judy who is extremely protective of his sister, so he storms out of his and Peralta’s hiding place and spoils the sting, which allows Dallas to escape. They have the Ferrari though, but their planned exchange with Stefano falls through when a car explodes. In the aftermath, they realize that Trudy Judy has escaped as well, when she calls Doug Judy and tells him that she planned it all. It turns out that Trudy Judy is more of a criminal mastermind than Doug Judy ever was.
Back at Shaw’s, the Nine-Nine squad is extremely drunk (we get to see “nine-drink Amy” who speaks French!) and about to admit defeat when Holt returns, persuaded by Rosa’s seventeen drunken voicemail messages. He chugs down three bottles of “Charbonnay” and wins the competition for his team. The firemen admit defeat and leave, taking their autographed Denis Leary photo with them. Captain Holt apologizes for not being there for his squad for something that they felt was important, but as he is commending them, he vomits.
The episode closes with Terry on his 6,922nd pushup.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine airs Thursdays at 9 p.m. EST on NBC.